Category Archives: Personal Growth

Feb 7 2013

How Do You Treat Waiters


Oh yes, we all love having a good weekend,  eating out with our loved ones and next week is Valentine’s Day, so many couples will be out there, for that special dinner. It might be a 5 star restaurant or the usual, So-friendly-Portuguese-chef-nearest eating place, but one thing for sure, there are WAITERS working there. They are also excited about the influx of couples, which means more tips in their pockets.

I was talking to a WAITER last week, and yes they happen to have funny names from Knowledge, Advance, Alternative, Goodwill, Sunnyboy, Culture [Insert any more names you have come across here], this one is rare, his name is Prince. He was explaining to me what it takes to be a waiter and it left me thinking,” How do these guys make it work”.

I know sometimes waiters can be irritating in the name of doing their jobs, but on many occasions  i have witnessed patrons treating waiters like sub human beings. From swearing at them, to threatening them for the poor service, and the most extreme mistreatment sometimes gets physical. E-News carried a story recently of an incident that happened at one of the poshy golf courses near Sandton/Woodmead. It all started with an attitude towards a waiter, swearing and saying all nasty things. Only the perpetrators knew what they did that.

I have a friendly who can go eat out and will decide whether to tip the waiter or not. What many of us do not realize is that waiters earn a leaving through those tips we leave them. R20 may not count to you, because it buys you nothing, but a Waiter, like their job title, will be waiting for that small money. Their life is about adding value to your eating experience . They are patient and some people take that for granted. Some people mistreat their maids and feel comfortable doing that to innocent waiters.

Can you share how you treat waiters? Be it in a Bar, Club, Restaurant or Hotel.

Jan 16 2012

Yes It Is Cool


Being African is cool!
Saying NO to VIOLENCE is cool
Speaking your mother language is cool
Being HAPPY for others is cool
Acknowledging our mistakes is cool
Respecting a NO is cool
Saying NO is cool..
Knowing when to SHUT UP is cool
Maturity is cool
Learning from our mistakes is cool
Appreciating good things is cool
Apologising is cool!
Having self respect is cool
Using condoms is cool
Getting tested for HIV/AIDS is cool
Respecting our parents is cool

I first tweeted the blog contents before blogging them, yes it is cool

Dec 22 2011

Don’t Take This For Granted


Don’t take your life for granted!
Don’t take your job for granted ( Some are unemployed)
Don’t take your neighbours for granted
Don’t take what you have for granted
Don’t take your fans for granted!
Don’t take your abilities for granted!
Don’t take your haters( if you think you have any) for granted.
Don’t take the road for granted ( Even if you are driving the safest car on earth)
Don’t take your family for granted ( Some don’t have any)

Oct 17 2011

How Do You Feel After Reading This?


Yesterday I spent time talking to a former jail-bird, he told me how he grew up, how he ended up in the jail system and what he would like to do with his life. It was an emotional engagement and today I just found myself writing this small poem, dedicated to all children living in institutions or orphaned by HIV/AIDS. Wrote it in the voice of a 12 year old.

I am seating by myself and watching Timon and Pumba asking myself, who am i?
Am not sure, but my name is Lucky, i heard the sister at the nursery thought I was so!
Born 12 years ago, I am pretty sure I would do anything to see mom and dad
Dad in jail, mom is dead, that is what they told me
Did I chose to be born? No, will I grow up in an institution? Yes that is the reality
So we sit and share stories with my brothers and sisters
Tom ain’t sure, but his mama died with AIDS, Jimmy was picked up in a dustbin
We have survived it all, but we wanna be just like all other children
Sometimes when we go to the mall and see other kids walking with their parents
We try to ignore, we try to walk past as if we do not notice, well the truth is we DO
Are we the not so lucky ones?
Once wrote a letter to Kanye West, asking him to be my father
Kanye showed his love by sending me PS3 console games for me to get lost in fantasies
I always feel like a winner when I play Tour of Duty 3
But some days I cry myself to sleep, I even cry in the mornings
They told me I could write a letter to my dad in prison, all I said to him was
“ DADDY I NEED A HUG”

Written by @TendaiJoe

Oct 16 2011

Woody Allen : In My Next Life


I came across this and thought i must share !

“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!”
― Woody Allen

Oct 14 2011

What Does Beyonce Stand For ? Question Answered


Have you ever asked yourself what companies look for when they want a Brand Ambassador? Have you ever asked yourself why companies are prepared to part with millions to have a celebrity endorsing their product? If your answer is yes, then God bless you, if your answer is no, then we are in the same category!

Any individual, any person has certain characteristics that makes him or her admirable. Sometimes we put ourselves in a lower position, as a way of discouraging our minds from ever thinking we can reach the level at which those we admire are at.This morning i was thinking about how celebrities influence our lifestyles, how we dress, what we watch on TV, what we eat and sometimes even what we wish to achieve in life. But do we all end up living upto such influences?In most cases the answer is NO.We usually get short- term satisfaction, as we create an illusion that we are now in the space with those we admire. If i wear Messi’s Barcelona jersey, there is a feeling i get that i am always winning like Messi. If i drink what Jay-Z drinks there is a feeling that i am close to living the life Jay-Z lives.If i drive a Yellow Ferrari, then i feel like P-Diddy on that “I need a girl video”. I can go on and on, but this morning i raised a point that needs answers.

Most people we admire, have positive qualities we ignore. The way our minds are programmed are in a such a way that, we tend to think or dream selectively.If i picture myself driving a Merc AMG, i already see myself in the N1, with the rooftop down, wind blowing on my face , yet there has to be work done first to earn money that buys me that same dream car. An artist might picture himself at the MTV Awards, receiving an award, forgetting there are rehearsals, studio recording, album packaging and all which needs to be done before an award.

Now you will ask how does all this relate to what Beyonce stands for!To a practical person, Beyonce is the embodiment of all sorts of qualities that are all morphed together one successful and powerful woman. Before today’s Beyonce, there was Destiny’s Child. If we are to be fair enough, we will all agree the group was a success and what does that mean about Beyonce? She is a GOOD TEAM WORKER ( Quality number one)

Beyonce kept her talent in the hands of those close to her, meaning she had to be managed by her father. Yes there were misunderstandings recently, but she knew people who have her best interests at heart, and what does that mean about Beyonce? She is a GOOD STRATEGIST ( Quality number 2)

The mere fact that Beyonce is engaged to someone who helps and supports her push her career forward, it means Beyonce can easily pinpoint what is best for her and go for it, which makes her a GO- GETTER ( Quality number 3)

Beyonce is or can be independent ! She sings about it, but she can also brag about it and live exactly like that! That is what happens when someone has talent, focus and works hard ( qualities we all need )

After all has been said and done, we all need to look at our role models and see what makes them play such an influential part in lives.I know some will shrug it off and say “who cares”, but my point does not change. When you wear a weave that makes you feel like Beyonce, go a little step forward by applying some qualities that Beyonce stands for.

Can you mention some more qualities you see in Beyonce or your role model.

Let us continue on Twitter @tendaijoe

Aug 14 2011

Misconceptions About Twitter


The South African TWITTER ecosystem is one of the most interesting online communities I have ever observed and been part of. Just like anywhere else you will meet a lot of characters and learn a lot along the way. Friendships are made, friendships are broken, relationships are built and relationships are broken, careers are built and careers are lost. So much happens in-between with some regrets and sometimes so much to laugh about. Here are some things I have learnt :

People search every mention they are not tagged (Not TRUE)-There is this popular habit of sublimal tweeting, also known as #Subtweeting . In most cases, whenever a person chooses to #Subtweet, they will be saying negative stuff about the subject, usually a total stranger. Some take their subtweeting to the next level by actually adding a name to the tweet, but not tagging the person they are talking about. I think you are well aware of what I am talking about. The catch comes when the person who has been subtweeted responds, and then you will see comments like,” Oh Mang-Mang searches tweets” , “Mara this one always searches what we are saying about him/her!”.

The Truth is : There are free twitter monitoring tools online that help companies and individuals to monitor their online footprints . One of those is TWEETDECK, you can create a stream (Column) for any key word and if that word is mentioned, it appears on the stream. That is why you will see that, you can talk about Vodacom or CellC without tagging and they respond to you. It is actually a good thing to watch the conversation about you, especially if you have to maintain a reputation

Twitter Wars Make you POPULAR: Twitter wars ( cyber wars) or whatever you want to call them have negative side-effects. In most cases it is a case of someone seeking attention at the expense of someone. There are a few TWARS that can be really genuine, and in all that, there are always instigators. They use clever language and operatives like, “Tjo” “Popcorn” “Drama”. Many twitter newbies believe that picking a Twitter War will give them more followers and make them popular, but the sad truth is, not everyone loves foul language and fighting. Twitter is yet to VERIFY one account of anyone who became a TWAR champion. People will also forget about you as soon as the next TWAR happens, and be assured many conclusions can be drawn against you, both positive and negative. So next time you jump into one ask yourself,”WHO AM I DOING A FAVOUR HERE ?”

Getting RTs makes you POPULAR : Twitter has helped the growth of the ATTENTION ECONOMY. Everyone wants that attention so everyone sees value in their online footprint by the way they engage and get responses from peers or from those in their ecosystems. But for some people, they will go to the extremes just to get RETWEETS. The most common modus operandi is to attack PUBLIC FIGURES or those conceived popular, by the use of subtle yet demeaning words. Some will go as far as generalising everything, just to get an RT. Worst examples i have seen are, “S**** Booth and M****** Booth are the ugliest gay couple”, “Every girl who drinks Hansa is a HOE”, “RIP so and so” and “When does Dj Cleo die kanti”.

I mean really, you might need RTs but getting them by saying extreme things like this will get you nowhere. I also once tweeted that,” RTing is agreeing “and there was a lot of debate around that statement. But in a real life situation, if someone says, “Hey Joe, your mama is ugly”, would I expect my friend to repeat that to me?

It is just TWITTER – Twitter is not just twitter anymore. Twitter is a platform you use to engage with other people. The way you engage with those people is upto you, but those who follow you will be also observing! What you say partly reflects who you are, in other words it is an extension of your personality. I used to tweet mean stuff about a certain celeb (name reserved), for some unknown reasons my works got to an agency that managed the celeb and guess what! What I used to tweet in 2010 stuck and the celebrity was not happy about it. At the end we agreed we could not work together! And another happy ending. I used to tweet whatever rubbish came to my mind about a corporate. One day I asked them for sponsorship and they asked for my e-mail. Then the director told me they were interested in sponsoring the event, but would also be interested to know how they had wronged me! Talk of an embarrassing moment! It was a good lesson learnt and I will always watch what I say. Today me and the corporate are huge friends (Am a brand loyalist if I can say)

Twitter is about CELEBRITIES- I ask a lot of my Facebook friends why they are not on twitter and they always say, Twitter is for celebrities. Is that true?

Aug 9 2011

Happy Women’s Day


This is some special day to me, first because of all the things I learnt from my mother. Secondly, because of the things I learn from my sisters everyday.

I think this day must be a celebration of all women in the world, regardless of colour, physical abilities or social standing. The women who tend the fields, the women who walk 5km to fetch water and firewood for her family. The women who still need our protection. The women who are forced to leave their homes because of conflict or violence against their sexuality.

There are a few women I look up to and respect as mothers, sisters and friends.

At work: Mama Irondina ( Shelter Foster mother), Mama Maggie ( Home Co-odinator) and all my sisters ( I love those girls hey! )

On Twitter and Facebook, I have so many friends. They know themselves.

I hope we all take this day to just say,” Sexual Violence against Women” is unacceptable.

Enjoy the day

Aug 3 2011

The Tendai you will never see through a TWEET


Aristotle and Aquinas considered that there are seven human passions: love and hatred, desire and fear, joy and sadness, and anger. Each individual is responsible for his or her own development and fortune. To accept fatalism, that is, to believe that destiny is somehow immovable, is to discourage yourself from attempting all initiatives to improve your life and self. Instead, remember that fixing calamities and changing destiny for the better are ways to strengthen your character and improve your lot in life. Work out your happiness; don’t wait for someone else or something else to do it for you because it will never happen unless you persevere.

On Sunday, some people were not happy about the Big Brother Amplified final outcome. A fellow Zimbabwean, Wendall had won against the crowd favorite Luclay. The funny thing is, I was not interested and am still not interested in Big Brother, yet some misguided elements thought let us go to our usual easy victim to bully! Me? (I always laugh out loud whenever this happens)

I am proud to say, during the years I have learnt to master my feelings. One of my biggest weaknesses is ANGER, I will never deny that. Most of the times I laugh when I am angry, for that help me to walk away and focus on positives. However we all know that sometimes the shit will hit the fan, and things can go any direction. I am friendly, I love life and I am on a chosen journey to walk away from whatever makes me angry, but should that element follow me, it will always reach a time when I need to address it once and for all.

For those who might have witnessed what I tweeted through @NATIVEFAM, I can unapologetically tell you that it can be worse than that. I was attacking people who have been on my case for almost 5 months. My TOLERANCE and SILENCE was mistaken for some weak Tendai, who can be kicked around back and forth till the next Moon Eclipse! What a mistaken perception.

MY JOURNEY

Okay I have done things I regret, not that I feel sorry for myself or I am proud of it, but I am thankful that I was able to walk away and change my life. I was a student who took a weapon to school for more than a month, with a clear intention to harm a female teacher. I was the same kid who rushed into a bank hall and shouted insults at a woman who had called me “Streetkid”. I was the same young man who threatened a family with death after a misunderstanding. In 2008 I reflected on all that and decided to take a new path. I knew it was not going to be easy, some would try to shake me, some would still get the other side of Tendai, and my mission was to “WALK AWAY FROM ANGER”

Through my journey I have worked and counseled convicted and paroled murderers, armed robbers, gangsters, suicidal people and even rape victims. It has all been emotional but it’s leading me to my desired destiny, to be always positive and not let anger control me and my destiny. I have done stupid things before, including fighting a thug who had put a gun on my head. I love PEACE and I love LAUGHING. I will never be perfect, I will hurt people along the way but my journey is to change my world and the world of people around me to the best I can.

I do not see myself repeating what I said on Sunday, it is regrettable. I also take this time to say, I will always stand with my true friends, being surrounded by fake people is not one of my wishes.

AFTER FIVE MONTH of HELL , I just had to let someone know, “ I AM NOT THAT EASY CYBER BULLYING VICTIM”.

Jul 8 2011

Nonhle Trying Hard To Be A Diva


She knows why she is doing what she is doing and she knows well people will react and respond, but I think Nonhle Thema is trying hard to be a “Diva”

One would think Nonhle is the first person to be on TV in South Africa.Not that I am judging her, but am considering her tweets.As much as I try to ignore them or try to look at them with a lighter view, no I have to be honest, such “Crude stupidity has to be condemned and no one celebrity should think they can pull such a vain stunt and get away with it”

Growing up around “Yes” people could be a reason why we have someone so big-headed like Nonhle.I think she has skipped the boundaries too many times,the media has written about her,radio and TV shows have had topics around her, bloggers have written the A-Z about “Nonhle tendencies” and soon we will have psychology professors writing a thesis on “Twitter psychology” using Nonhle Thema as the case study.

Nonhle might have been the darling of SA sometime ago, people were proud, she was a great role model, but does that still stand today? Am sorry to tell Khaya Dlanga that his humble plea with Nonhle to be “HUMBLE” will never be heeded. Nonhle has other plans to outdo the ZAR empire. Nonhle can not let sushi hog the limelight at the expense of her beauty (sic)! Remember the girl is “more beautiful that Halle Berry and she walks on water and swims in money.”

I knew 140 characters would not help me write what was in my mind, but yes that is it.

PS : REPUTATIONS are at stake on twitter. What’s next?